Friday, 11 May 2012

It's the fashion, darling

Being away from England has given me the luxury of simply ignoring fashion. In Korea I could wear whatever, as well as be safe in the knowledge that only a few (British) foreigners would know when I was wearing Primark. Of course Koreans have a distinct fashion sense, but I never felt out of place not partaking in it. I think both I and they understood that the heels and hot pants look was just not for me. In England, however, I find myself observing high street fashion and make-up and feeling like I need to step up my game. Apparently the hybrid traveler/student/don’t really care look doesn’t cut it anymore (did it ever?). An alarming percentage of girls out and about look like they’ve spent at least three days getting ready. When did fake eyelashes become everyday attire? It’s all so confusing.  
I’ve noticed a few things during my unavoidable shopping trips this week: # 1.The height of high heels is just scary. How the hell can anyone walk in those monstrosities? There must be a lot of shoe related injuries these days.  # 2. Perfectly nice dresses now have holes in the sides. Is this the fashion? I really don’t think it suits me to have my belly on show to left and right, not dissimilar to a swimming costume from a pimped up music video.  Personally I want to know where those extra bits of material went. Surely when you buy the dress you should be given a hanky or two made from the discarded parts, or a discount at the very least.
One thing I really love about shopping here is being able to listen to peoples conversations in dressing rooms. It can be so entertaining at times that I actually forget what I’m doing and end up being there for ages. So this is what I overheard the other day (imagine the Cov accent—brash and loud—for full effect):

Girl 1- Do you like it then or does it make me look fat?
Girl 2- 100% not, you look well good, I swear.

I love England.
I was having my hair cut today and got talking to two hairdressers. One of them said her boyfriend takes longer to get ready than she does. How is this possible? Do men wear makeup? Do men have to match outfits with handbags and shoes? I don’t get it. Then the other hairdresser chipped in, saying her boyfriend not only takes ages to get ready, but also gets his eyebrows threaded! To me this is a sure sign that we have finally all gone mad. Maybe this is the way forward, but I have to say that for now I am happy with a man who shoves on his clothes, rubs his  hands quickly through his hair, then puts a hat on to hide the mess before heading out. 
Perhaps the real reason why I am suffering from fashion confusion is that I am, in fact, getting old and have therefore given up caring. Sigh. But if that means I get to wear flat shoes and a whole dress rather than just parts, then maybe it's not as bad as it sounds.

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