Friday, 27 July 2012

So sleepy...must write

I've been thinking recently about my writing ups and downs, the peaks and troughs of my production levels. It seems that it's true that when I am either too busy or too free, my writing is not at its best or most frequent. When I'm busy, I'm don't write and when I'm not, I find myself lacking in inspiration and drive. Somewhere in between is a good place for me as it creates a situation where I have lots of ideas from my work and life in general and also have the time to actually write them down. The job I'm doing right now has allowed me to do none of these things, and even now as I write I find myself itching to get off the computer. That's one of the problems with lesson planning and recording: I sometimes can't face going on the computer to write after I've done all my work. It may be a different forum and altogether a more interesting task, but it still unfortunately involves staring at the same damn screen.
What baffles me about working this hard is that some people just see it as normal, i.e their day jobs are as demanding as this throughout the year. How do they do it? I guess some people just love their job that much. My problem is that I'm trying to get my dream job underway on the side of my normal job. Sometimes I envy those people, I really do...
So far it's been a year of extremes- starting in Korea, where turning up and bouncing around the classroom was enough to get paid. Being on time and standing up for all seven 45 minute classes were the only things that really mattered. 
Then came the CELTA, during which I thought I was going to die. I remember saying 'nothing will seem hard after this' and I think it's weird how I genuinely believed it at the time, but now that the pain has subsided I've moved on to more current grievances. 
Then there was the dreaded Vaughan Systems in Spain which gave 'going to die' a whole new meaning. 9am- 3am flat out working day, with so little time to eat that I actually had to teach with my stomach growling like a monster, to the point where one of my students, unable to ignore it, offered me some food. 
And after that came nothing. The big void where days turned into weeks, a vast blur of menial tasks and general existence.
And now my current job with the Cambridge Academy of English. Fun but intense, non stop and exhausting.
On the plus side, the CELTA, Vaughan Systems and CAE have all contributed to this year feeling really long, as they all lasted (and are lasting) for a lifetime. So at least I'm getting my moneys worth!
In conclusion I will say this: Dear Saudi Arabia, please give me enough work to be challenged and to develop, but not so much that I get cross eyed and dizzy and don't have time to sleep. Thanks!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave a comment!